FLAT TIRES

“A lot of people, especially sisters, when they get married are no longer as active in da’wah. They become like flat tires. They were once inflated and exciting and doing this and doing that, then they get married and you never hear about them again. Don’t be a flat tire! And don’t be the obstacle for your spouse that causes them to be a flat tire!” -Sh. Waleed Basyouni, Torch Bearers

Marriage comes with a LOT of responsibilities, and especially for the sister, it is a lot of new responsibilities, including things such as cooking, cleaning, laundry, taking care of husband, children, and juggling work and school all at the same time. However we know that da’wah is encouraged, if not obligated (however you look at it) for every Muslim.

Now coming to da’wah and practical steps and examples:

Aisha, for example, was one of the greatest scholars of the time. At the same time, we have to take note that despite his (least to say) BUSY schedule, the Prophet (saws) took the time to help his wives around the house with chores. This just goes to show that household responsibilities are not just for the wife, but for the husband as well. And if both the husband and wife are involved with da'wah work, then it is crucial that both spouses share the work in the house, so that the wife is not doing everything on her own.

A lot of people, when they ask “what is the main responsibility of a wife?”, are told, “their family”. However, as one scholar pointed out, this answer is incorrect. A woman’s first responsibility is to be a servant to Allah. Now, as a married woman, ONE of the ways she can fulfill this responsibility by being a good wife and mother, educating her children and bringing them up to be Muslims. This is an example of how she can do dawah at home. However, this requires effort. It’s not just about cooking and cleaning- it’s about educating oneself as best as one can in order to raise children as good Muslims and Muslimahs.

At the end of the day, Allah knows our schedules and He knows how busy we are. At the same time, if da'wah is something we are passionate about (which I hope we are), then some of the steps that have to be taken include:

a) Making du’a to Allah to help us in our endeavours (during Tahajjud)b) Discussing with our spouses how both individuals can share work in the house so that both are able to do some dawah work (again, it can be just going and volunteering or teaching for an hour once a week).c) Manage our time more wisely- can I wake up an hour earlier today to finish school work and the laundry so I can attend an hour long halaqah in the evening? Maybe instead of a movie, I can go to the soup kitchen today with a local group to serve food to the needy, etc.